Envy Read online

  “Royael, Liam is an old friend of mine.” Raven smiled, crouching down to her little girl. “Let's put the photo away so we all can talk.”

  “But I wanna go to Pizza Planet, Mommy, please.”

  “Let's go to Pizza Planet,” Liam chimed in. Her pleading was so adorable that he gave a fist pump.

  “You'll take me to Pizza Planet? Okay!” Royael hopped up, grabbing her toy purse. In a flash, she'd exited the room.

  “Later on we have to have a talk about eagerly leaving with strangers,” Raven mumbled under her breath. She glanced at him. “Don't look so guilty, the picture frame came from the 99 Cent Store. And …” The anger in her tone crashed.

  “Feel free to keep it coming,” he said, taking a deep breath. He needed the pain to wash away the shock.

  “Nothing.” Raven paused. Her eyes glossy.

  He wanted to tell her that she raised a beautiful child and that they both were the butt of a very bad joke. But this wasn't just a punchline gone wrong, this was the woman he loved and the baby he wanted.

  They ended up speaking at the same time.

  “Royael is—”

  “Raven, I—”

  She gestured for him to take the reins. He wanted to tell her that his mom must’ve written the letter to her, but Raven finally finished her sentence with, “Royael is waiting. We can slowly weave in the truth later. As far as I’m concerned, if she’s happy, I'm happy.”

  Liam took a deep breath before walking out of the room and downstairs. When he got outside, there were two other kids waiting at his car.

  “Royael went with the neighbors last time.” Raven handed him a booster seat. Grinning at his wide-eyed shock, she cocked her head toward the other two seats on the grass. “Safety first.”

  He struggled, placing the seats in the back of the two-door Aston. She went around, checking each one after the kids were seated. He shut the front passenger door and said, “If you were going to assess my ability, then you could’ve just helped.”

  “Oh, trust me. I have helped you. Every day I raise your child alone.” Gone were the glossy eyes and the questioning look on her face. Eyes in slits, she reopened the door and slid in. “Did you think you were taking my daughter alone? I don’t think so.”

  10

  After ordering food and tokens, Liam found Raven sitting at a booth. Glancing at the bright-red, cracked cushion, he made sure there were no “surprises” before taking a seat. He tried to make small talk as Royael and her crew roamed around arcade games and obstacle courses, but Raven had turned into a Chihuahua. The Chihuahua—a secret name he’d gifted Raven—had a sharp reply for everything.

  “Look, Liam, I'm here because of Royael. I'm not always confident in how well I turned out,” she chortled, “so having a father works. Step out of line and POOF, you're gone. Please, give me a bit of time to digest this, and then I'll tell you happy stories. But, oh, I'm going to tell you the best parts of Royael—what am I saying? She's my baby, she's perfect. So like I said, I'll give you the good times with her, just to make you feel worse about yourself.”

  “I’ll be forever grateful for that.” He nodded. “Setting eyes on Royael has made me realize you are my biggest regret.”

  “Please,” she said through gritted teeth.

  The two of them sat across from each other in silence, eating pizza. Every so often, she spoke. He found out that Royael just celebrated her fifth birthday a few weeks before. His daughter was a New Year’s Eve baby. When he asked what they did, and Raven mentioned cake and ice cream with the neighbors. A while later, she spoke of Royael’s favorite bear, Mookie, who their daughter had named.

  After a while, they got up to play with the kids. Liam stood at the arcade game where you have to bop the top of the gopher’s head. Royael stood in front of him, and he helped his daughter hold the hammer. As the various gophers kept popping out, he helped her push them down.

  Raven stood against the wall next to them, smiling and encouraging her daughter to move faster. But watching the father-daughter play and the way her child laughed courageously made her heart soften.

  “All right, Royael, let’s show him how this really goes down.” Raven came to life as they finished up with a measly twenty points.

  Liam placed another token in the machine as she stationed herself behind Royael. Raven helped her bop the top of the gopher’s head, but Raven also used her other hand to press down the heads of even more gophers which popped up. The girls were chuckling hysterically by the time they finished, with almost double the points.

  “Yay, Mommy, I got so many tickets!” Royael shouted, snatching the stream of tickets.

  Their daughter ran off to join her friends, and the two went to sit down again. The laughter vanished and an awkward silence ensued.

  “That’s weird,” Raven murmured, about an hour later. “The kids are usually back by now asking for more tokens and acting like they’ve been starved to death. The pizza’s cold already.”

  “I gave them ten thousand tokens,” Liam replied. “I don’t think so.”

  “You gave three five-year-olds ten thousand tokens? Ya gotta be kidding me.” Raven giggled and came to sit next to him, scooting close. A mixture of confusion and enticement from her fruity perfume took over him.

  “See those boys?” Raven pointed to a pair of pimple-faces who were following Royael and her friends, picking up tokens that fell out of the girls’ pockets. Raven patted his shoulder, chuckling. “Mr. Big Bucks, you’re paying for everybody’s tokens.”

  Liam stood abruptly. “Those little bastards!”

  “Sit, Mr. Big Bucks!” She smacked his tailored butt. “You can’t beat ’em for taking this opportunity. Do you really want to get in a fight with all of these parents on your first visit with Royael? Granted, you're no longer a fat ass, but you do not have an ally in me.”

  “Don’t start, Raven.” He rubbed at a phantom headache as she continued to laugh.

  A slight ache formed at the pit of Raven’s stomach as she watched Liam carry their sleeping child into the house. Touched by the love on his face and torn by what he’d written in the letter, Raven took a seat on the couch. Her heart had split from the need to shield her daughter from his previous views. But, they connected.

  She’d just changed the tot and put her in bed. Liam went upstairs afterward to read a goodnight book. Raven’s heart had been on the verge of exploding, so she silently left the bedroom.

  Downstairs, Raven grabbed a throw pillow and held it to her chest, letting the day sink in. Closing her eyes, a vivid image of them on the very same couch in Bellwood took over. He’d convinced me that he’d never leave. She’d been hesitant. Lips tingling, she reminisced on his kisses and how, like a dum-dum, she’d caved in. Liam made love to me, made me think that he was the only consistency in my life, then he abandoned me.

  “I barely turned the page and she was out.”

  Liam’s voice and the movement of him sitting near her shoved Raven into reality. The scent of amber and woodsy cologne almost had her eyes closing again. Instead of giving into dreamy temptation, she smiled genuinely. “Royael had a good day.”

  “Do you mind if I stay and look at pictures of her? I’ve missed a lot.”

  The smile plunged into darkness. Of course, you did! A plethora of emotions had her feeling angry and sorry for him at the same time. Nodding, she rose and went to the bookshelf. She spread photo albums across the coffee table and dug in from the beginning.

  A while later, their laughter mingled with the rain patter on the windows. Raven leaned on his shoulder, legs covered by a knitted blanket as she pointed to a picture of a seven-month Royael at her first pageant. “She won the highest title in Natural and Glitz. Now, Royael dominates the pageant world.”

  Raven told him a story about each photo. She stopped on a picture of Royael in the bathtub with her face and body smeared in chocolate. “She was almost two, stole a candy bar from the checkout stand while I was paying for groceries. It w
asn’t until I pulled into the driveway and looked through the rearview mirror … You could just imagine the mess in the dead of summer! Chocolate all over the seats, ugh!”

  “She loves chocolate like her daddy.”

  “Oh, here’s the infamous Mookie Number Three.” Raven showed him a picture of a tan, curly, stuffed bear. His mouth was smeared with what had to be chocolate. “It was all matted to his skin.”

  Liam smiled as he glanced through the photos of Royael holding her bear. “Why’s his name Mookie Number Three?”

  “Because The Diva treats the bear like a human. She’s lost one or two at the zoo, and one had started to smell like mildew since she’s hardheaded and took a bath with it. Do you know, one time I had to wake up at before the rooster to buy Royael a new one after finding out it didn’t make it home with my sleeping child from the zoo? You just put Royael to sleep with Mookie number uhhhh … I’ve lost count.”

  They sat for hours as Liam learned about his daughter’s life. Looking back on all the pictures had Raven in a carefree state. She picked up the last book, Royael’s fifth year, and excitedly told the story behind those photos, too.

  “This looks professional,” he commented on a recent picture of Royael on the merry-go-round.

  “I took it. I’m … I was attending photography school.”

  “You stopped? Do you have a portfolio?”

  This is getting too personal. Raven stiffened; she’d almost gone through the whole day without hating herself for being so chummy with him. “I’m barely a second-year student.”

  “You shouldn’t be shy about it. This picture looks great.”

  Finally noticing how near they were, she stood hastily. “It’s getting late.”

  Liam stood. “Okay.”

  The soothing sound of rain permeated the room as she opened the front door. She hastily grabbed an old newspaper from the rack beside her Grandpa’s Laz-E-Boy. He seemed to be in apologize mode. Raven thrust the newspaper to his chest. As soon as he stepped outside, she closed the front door.

  No amount of mental mantra could stop her from peeking through the blinds. Raven watched him saunter to his car, not even using the paper to shield himself from the rain.

  11

  April

  Shiny bowling balls rolled down the waxed wooden alleys while pop music gave an upbeat feel to the glow-in-the-dark lighting. The place was crowded. Couples were canoodling, taking their time during the game as they touched each other with an insatiable hunger.

  Then there was Raven and the boyfriend her other friends weren't “buying” as a boyfriend. But what did that mean? Her work was cut out for her while raising a child and William would one day be saving lives due to his prestigious education so nobody’s opinions mattered, not even Granny, who made it a habit of reminding Raven to live a little. Who says that after a date? He was her shoulder to lean on. At that moment, he listened intently.

  “… Liam came into my life–our lives—just a few months ago. He’s trying to take over everything. I mean, just the other day he wanted to go to Royael’s kindergarten,” Raven ranted as she stood by the bowling machine, waiting for her ball to appear. She hadn’t looked at the score in a while. Her head wasn’t in the game. She decided to let William win.

  Shoving three fingers into place, she braced the orange ball with her opposite hand and got into stance. “And do you know what he did?”

  “I’m not a mind reader, Raven,” William mumbled, seated at the booth next to the computer screen.

  “Liam acted all high and mighty when we visited her school. Afterwards, he said he wanted to have her transferred to a better kindergarten.” Raven flung the bowling ball down the alley. She plopped down on the yellow chair next to William and glanced at the score board. Zero? “He even had a damn pamphlet, like that was his intention all along. Hell, no! I barely have time to get to school around the corner from my condo after working at the coffee shop—that is, if they give me enough hours. He said I should quit.” She imagined her hands wrapped around his muscular neck. Just because he’d given her enough money to pay for the winter term of school, and then some, didn’t mean he was scot-free.

  “C’mon, Raven, go to your happy place.” William leaned shoulder to shoulder with her.

  Fuck a happy place! “I didn’t tell you what else he said when I laughed at his suggestion that I quit.”

  “It’s still your turn to play …” He pulled away. “What did he do?”

  “Liam told me that he would have a car take Royael to school.” Raven got up and went to the bowling machine. She flung the ball, knocking down one pin. “A car? Bullshit!”

  “A better school offers Royael a better head start,” William replied, after getting a turkey—his third strike. He was in the triple digits; she was pushing fifty.

  “Royael has a caring teacher and is in a class with children from our area.” When Raven couldn’t read his expression, she stopped at the machine and continued venting. “The other day, Liam comes over out of the blue and stays for dinner. How did he know if we’d have enough? Forget that Southern hospitality crap. Granny let him stay. She’s acting like he’s family.” She flung the bowling ball down the shiny alley. “And do you know that he stayed all the way to tuck Royael in. I tuck Royael in. This has been going on for a week.”

  “Maybe you can switch up sometimes.” William put his arms around her, trying to kiss her.

  Too angry, she didn’t notice. “Do you know what else he did?”

  “What else?” he asked in a cynical tone.

  “I’m sorry.” Raven pouted and kissed his cheek. “No more Liam, okay?”

  “Good. No more Liam, at least, not for a while.”

  Creative energy had Raven itching to take pictures of the glass mansion on the hill. Greenery mirrored off the glass walls. She pulled in front of the six-car garage—candy shop—that displayed luxury imports she’d only seen on 007 films. He still has the Chevelle. She looked at the black classic with green lime flecks that he used to pick her up in during high school.

  Rolling her neck, tension cracked. Raven tucked away memories of the good times they’d had in it. She pulled out the Minnie Mouse overnight luggage as her daughter got out of their car. This would be the first time Royael spent the night with her dad. They walked up a stone fragmented bridge over a Koi pond. Standing in front of a two-story, exotic-wood door, she rang the bell.

  Liam opened it, gave Raven a terse greeting, then hugged his daughter.

  “Daddy, I missed you sooooo much,” Royael said when he let her go. Though it had been all of seven days for the dynamics of their relationship to sink in, she was more than happy to have a father. The showering of toys meant more bragging rights, too.

  “I missed you, too. We’re going to have a good weekend. I have a surprise for you.” He patted her head and turned to her mother. “Thanks. Have a good day.”

  “You’re welcome. You have a good one too.” She nodded curtly at his dismissiveness. He never argued, but she knew their disagreement about Royael’s schooling got under his skin.

  “I suppose I should take a look around and inspect your home for safety.” Raven thrust the luggage at his abdomen. Since the doorway was so large, she walked by freely. You’re not the only one that can go around making inspections to ensure things are up to par. Boots resonated off of the Macassar Ebony wood walkway.

  “I suppose Royael can’t reach that stick thingy with the pointy arrow,” she said, nodding toward some type of ancient Greek weapon on the wall.

  “No, Raven, I don’t think so. Has my home met your approval?” His jaw tensed, but he had to smile when Royael tugged his arm about the surprise.

  Without responding, Raven walked down a hall. She passed a media room with a large theatre screen and rows of plush seating. A library with stuffy books that she presumed the “new” Liam would read. The “old” one preferred comic books and Goosebumps. She stopped at an indoor pool and turned back to him. “Keep this doo
r closed.”

  He folded his arms as Royael tugged his Armani button-up, still pestering him about a surprise.

  Raven continued down the hall toward a game room with a huge TV. Indigo couches and chairs were placed near blue and silver glass statues. A long fireplace ran half the length in the room dividing a full-scale bar from an arcade. Three old-school games, one of which she knew was Liam’s favorite as a child—Ms. Pac-Man—lined the opposite gray wall. Instead of continuing the charade of “inspecting” and being secretly leery of this new fake Liam, she stopped.

  “I’ll be going now,” Raven said while Liam overzealously admired a trinket Royael made in class as they sat on a couch. After being ignored, she quickly hugged her child. “I’ll let myself out.”

  Raven glanced back at Royael. I have the weekend off, but I'd rather host a sleepover than let my baby go.

  The doorbell rang as she passed the living room. Trying not to be depressed, she opened the door with a smile and looked up at a very tall, thin woman with beautiful Mali features. Unfortunately, Raven was eye level to her flowing top that exposed, tiny tits and chest bones—ugh.

  “Who are you?” The woman’s French accent went well with her curled upper lip.

  “I’m on my way out. But your ego is taking much of the room.”

  “I am Camille Kerr. You don’t know who I am? You have that tacky camera around your neck. You should know who I am.”

  “Excuse me!” Raven put her hand on her hip.

  “Why are you in my man’s house?”

  “You know what, allow me to apologize.” Raven’s lips curved upward. She turned back around toward the hallway, saying, “I'm just going to get my baby so you can spend time all the time you want with—”

  The Giant’s legs were much larger than hers. Camille stepped around and blocked Raven’s path. “I asked you a question!”